I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
