hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
