I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have post one night stand depression
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