you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
please don't ironically join a cult
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