Dual....:-)
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
