That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
