Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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