It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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