i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
