I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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