At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I bet he comes in French.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
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