We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
