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• (330): View more from Ohio

  So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.

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