so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
