sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
