I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
