Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
