i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Come share oat with me in your robe
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