I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
