So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
