apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
