Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
