just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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