so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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