what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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