2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
