i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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