he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
