just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
