i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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