How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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