there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
