We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
