omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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