I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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