after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
