Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
