that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
