Sry I called you an 8
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
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