I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
