two words: eviction party
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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