Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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