well you can't waste a boner
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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