I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
