and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
