remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
