Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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