hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
