i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
