if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
