He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
