You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
