Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
