i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
