it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
