he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
