Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
