totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
