Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
