U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I didn't notice because vodka
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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