I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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