Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
