how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
