She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
