Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
