even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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