Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
